Monday, July 4, 2011

A LETTER FOR MY EX-BOYFRIEND

Dear You,

A year ago on this same date, I accepted your offer of commitment. I was supposed to know better. Before I became your girlfriend, I spent the past five birthdays of my life, waiting for the one I loved before you to show up at my doorstep, carrying a gift box with the date September 19 in it. I would cry like a baby, wanting to have my birthday back. I wouldn’t wish that annual excruciation on anyone, much more for the one I’m in love with, but I just couldn’t miss that chance to make your day special. I gave you wholeheartedly, the best and the ONLY gift I can give you from where I am: my heart.

I remember feeling uncertain, terrified even of entering another long distance relationship. I knew firsthand the hardships of being with BUT not being with the one you love. Haven’t I learned my lesson? Why did I allow myself again to fall in love with someone who can’t be where I am? The answer was in front of me every time you gave me your time. Seeing your face and hearing your voice was what made me turn my back on the possibility that you just might be the next heartbreak chapter of my life. I made that jump because I knew we’re in it together.  Had you been bolder when we were in grade school like you were a year ago, you would have been my first boyfriend. I gave out a faint laugh at the thought of that. Had I been your girlfriend before, would we still be a couple today? Reality gave me a slap on the face. We’re not even together anymore.

As much as I’d like to just be “okay” with everything concerning you and me from then until now, I can’t help but be sad over the fact that the reason for our separation isn’t because you’re there and I’m freakin' here. It’s simpler. I’m not the one for you, you’re not the one for me, and today is not for us . I cannot even begin writing about how painful and potentially incapacitating it is to wake up every day knowing that I’m no longer yours and you’re no longer mine, but there are more important things. One of those “things” for example, is the TRUTH.

This is my truth: I don’t love you as much as you think I do. I love you MORE, but it's not enough. This is the reason why I have chosen to set you free. My comfort in my suffering is in knowing that I did the right thing for the both of us. No matter how strong my feelings are for you, they can’t take me to where you are. They can't take me to your doorstep so I could give you back July 4 in a gift box personally. Maybe not. If love was enough, I would've been with you every second of everyday. Maybe, things would've been different.

This year, the best and the ONLY gift I can give you wholeheartedly from where I am is my unconditional forgiveness. With it, I give you my sincere apologies for whatever inconvenience my existence brought you. Thank you for giving me the most important thing one can give: your time.

From this point on, I will be nothing but grateful for all that we had and the love that we shared. I will continue being your friend by praying for you always. I will keep my promise to you that I’ll be in your life forever by being the lesson you will NEVER forget. I will open my heart to life's endless possibilities and hope that you’ll do the same. I will always love you for who you were in my life. I have let you go. I won’t look back.

Love,
Me

P.S. Happy Birthday.  


7 comments:

Nice O. Urdaneta said...

nuks! napaiyak tuloy ako! ahahaha ^^ o ayan ex-boyfriend napatawad ka na... ^^ nice post hencey!

Anonymous said...

nice =)

Anonymous said...

Nice one Hency :D God Bless :)


JC

hencel lauren said...

thanks =)

Anonymous said...

I'm here thinking of you always, waiting for the time that you will talk to me again. thank you for this composition you made for me. It's hard being without you, but if this will be the only way wherein you will be healed I guess I have to deal with it every second of my life until you decide to talk to me again. Thank you for everything tots. for all the love, happiness and hope you have given me. I love you so much. God bless

-YOU

strawberryprincess said...

awww...

thats sweet...

Anonymous said...

"I will keep my promise to you that I’ll be in your life forever"

I'm still here waiting for you, I hope we can restore everything. Every now and then I've been thinking of you. I really want to talk to you, I hope mapagbigyan mo ko na makausap ka.

Siya ng pala malapit ko na namin matapos ni Ryan ung 121 ko, and by September makakasama n ko s Victory Weekend. That's what I've been doing now, restoring my life with God and encouraging others to know Him more.

Thank You for teaching me a lot of things I used to ignore, di ka mawawala s buhay ko kahit magdesisyon k n tuluyan n kong iwasan maghihintay pa rin ako sau. Ingat k palagi dyan. God bless

Love,
A.R.

© SCRIBBLES, AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena