Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A Letter For My SINGLE Sister

Dear SINGLE Sister,

I understand how you feel. I’m not saying this because it’s a nurse’s thing to say it. It’s because I’ve been where you are a couple of times before.

First off, I’m barely a nurse. If I didn’t have the license, I have nothing to show for it other than the bulging veins in my legs. I wake up every day and go through the motions of eating, working, writing, and sleeping. I do it with me, myself, and I. Independence can be so liberating. I walk with my head up high, figuratively, knowing that though I do not have the monopoly on skills and knowledge, I am capable of accomplishing a lot. I can count on my imperfections to get in the way of my efforts to make my days “smooth”, but that's okay. I have come to the acceptance that the days of our lives are exactly how God planned them. We must always be grateful for every single day however it ends; it was given to us for free.

Even with all these in mind, and even with the faith that I now have (stronger than it ever was), sometimes I still wish my days went by differently. During those few random moments, I find myself wanting a "different kind of change" to come so that the coming days would be… different. When I do, I remember the first time I fell in love. After that, I’d remember the second time and how it was very much like the first time. Love changes things, BIG TIME. As tempting as it is to count on love to shake things up in my life a bit, I have made the decision to shut my heart with the sign “Unavailable Until Further Notice” nailed firmly on all four sides. I’m not certain what good (or bad) it’ll do for me, but I’m not going to waste my time thinking about it. There’s plenty of work to be done (on me) and I still don’t have a foolproof game plan.

A couple of months ago, I had the luxury of time to look back at how my life had been so far and was satisfied. I wasn’t jumping up and down, as Randy Jackson would say, until after I realized that for the first time since I was 15, I’m neither in love nor STILL in love with anyone. For a second, I thought I'd feel lonely like I used to. It’s a blessing I didn’t. When you let negativity suck the hope out of you, that’s when you get soaked in misery. That’s when you wish your life was different, or start to think that (maybe) you’re “better off with anyone” than “alone” “waiting” for “the one”. That’s when you stop being grateful and take your other blessings for granted. That’s when you want love for the wrong reasons.

We don’t love because we are lonely. We love because we feel loved by God and are more cognizant of His blessings, and we know that one way to show our gratefulness to Him is to live each day the best way we can- whether there is someone or none. You don’t have to feel sad and lonely. You don’t have to settle for a human band-aid. You don’t have to wait or look for “the one” to be happy, only to find out that he’s not “it”. You don’t have to feel bitter about your relationships that didn’t work out. You don’t have to envy girls who hook up with different boys each week, or be jealous of women who had been gifted with emotionally stable men. You don’t have to be scared of the endless possibilities of how your single life will turn out to be. You just have to learn how to TRUST GOD with your heart- WITH ALL YOUR HEART.

Happiness is a state of being. On the aspect of being single, it can be achieved by realizing that you’ve been with THE ONE all along, and that He’s found you long before you first felt lost without someone. Happiness can be found in God alone and if you seek Him first before anything or anyone else, you will feel nothing but blessed to the highest exponential power. Yes, you’ll still wish you have someone to extend that overflowing love from Him to. But unlike before, you wouldn’t feel like you’re living for nothing just because you’re not in a relationship. You ALREADY have one WITH HIM. Work on it and stop having an affair with negativity. Enjoy your single life because when the man that He had planned for you comes along, you’re never gonna be single forever. And yeah, stay available and avoid complicated set-ups and arrangements.

Do you feel better already? I sure hope so. As for me, I think the thing I REALLY need to make my days different is to go back to doing something that has always brought me immense happiness.

I gotta get back to reading.

Hencel Lauren

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