Monday, December 2, 2013


The phone rang.
I picked it up.

From the other line, with your weary voice,

I heard you say

That you are sincerely sorry and that you love me very much.

You can’t afford to lose me.

You can’t live without my presence.

That you are going to change

Without leaving a trace of how you were in the past

-the insensitive and intolerable you-

For ME, for US.

That this time, it’s for real.

And you promise not to wreck this one last chance

That you ask of me.

But then, who I hear

Is the very same fool who spoke to me yesterday.

And for the second time I say,

“Sorry po, wrong number.”

Hencel Lauren
(written in high-school/no date)

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Sunday, December 1, 2013

In Gratitude

You enter the domain of a barbaric tribe
Aiming to urbanize the uncivilized
Insanity fills the air

There are so many of us and only one of you
Armed with books, class records, and a ball pen
But man, how you scare the hell out of my armpits?
(Ah, I forgot I have my chair)

You ask mind-tumbling questions
You tire me with compulsory nonsense
You give written tests my brain can hardly endure
You discuss the impossible

When I get the chance to say my piece
You’d look me from down to up
Scrutinizing and criticizing every detail
You see, hear, feel, smell (and taste?)

You made me ask if I deserved all of it
I almost believed something’s wrong with me
I felt oh, so sorry for myself
I don’t and would never, ever, get it

That was what I thought

But now, I realized that
You taught me love in hate
What’s wrong and right
What’s simple to complexity
What’s hard when it's easy

You even taught me how to write a poem

I imagine myself on that most awaited afternoon next to my
Debut, college graduation, my first flight, my first job,
My wedding day, my first baby…

I see you taking it all as just an annual happening
No big thing
Nothing too special

It’s a good thing you know that we’ve waited an eternity for this
(We even thought it wouldn’t come)
So you try to can your frown and manage a steady smile
(Thanks for the kind consideration)
And as we go further to the direction you keep pointing to
You'll get smaller, and smaller, and smaller
And me, I want to be BIG! REALLY BIG!
So that someday, when I get REALLY, REALLY BIG
I could get back on you

I’d look you from down to up
I’ll scrutinize and criticize every little bit of you
For choosing to stay where we left you

I then believed that you deserve it
But then, do you?

You don’t.

So fine, I’ll shut up.

On that big afternoon we’ve all been eager for
I’ll be patient not to throw you a frown
I'll just keep a steady smile on my face
Then maybe, we could take some pictures
For in fairness, that is what you really deserve

So allow me to write this:
From the bottom of my intestines, thanks very much
I apologize for being such a nut case
It's just I’ve always thought that
My eye bags were heavier than yours.

Hencel Lauren
H.S. Graduation 2001

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Changing World

In this world, everything changes
Because no such thing is forever
But I know, whatever change
In this world I will encounter
However my future will be like
And no matter how much time
Will pass by
I will always be ME…

The girl who
Hugged her father,
Kisses her mother,
Argues with her sister,
And scolds her brother

The girl who made you
Laugh, cry, and smile

The girl who believes that
Life is nice and beautiful
And must not be taken for granted

The girl who loves God above all else…

Hencel Lauren 1999

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Dito sa isang tabi,
Ako'y nakaupo,

Dito sa isang tabi,
Tanging mga ding-ding
Ang karamay at
Katulong sa pagtugon
Sa aking mga katanungan.

Dito sa isang tabi,
Ako’y nagdarasal
Na sana’y ‘di lamang
Mga ding-ding ang
Nakakarinig sa akin.

Sana Siya rin
At nawa’y matulungan
Niya ako
‘Pagkat ako’y sawa na
Sa kakaupo,
At kaka-iyak.

Hencel Lauren 2000

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

My Lebanese-Armenian-American Sister From Another Mother

(for) September 19, 2013

Dear Selah,

This blog post is not what you think it is.

This “private message” is not about how much I like you, or how I so miss working with you, and how good it is that we’re friends… coz’ it’s not like that.

First of all, I’d like to tell you how inconvenient it is to have a pretty friend. My eyes dry up from all the staring and not blinking. I’m not even gay.

Second of all, and from this point on I’ll stop counting, you always call me out for my "maarte-ness" in a "makulit" way. That’s wayyy more Filipino than I can get, eating rice with my hands.

You make me want to put eye make-up. I hate make-up.

My “behind” appears smaller than it actually is when you’re anywhere within 100 meters.

You NEVER fart around me. I find that highly offensive.

You bring me to Sakura and make me wish I had a husband. O.M.g…

And lastly, you’re too honest… about my cooking. Upside, I can be honest with yours.
(FYI: The stuff we cook is too awesome for humans. They’re for another species.)

So there.
That’s all there is.

And yeah, feel free to share my birthday. It was all mine for 7 years before you waltzed into the planet with your tiny feet. They’re still tiny, btw.

The Birthday Blogger

PS.  I don’t like you. I love you.
       I don’t miss working with you coz’ I don’t miss working… just you.

       Friend, you’re good. Best friend, wayyyyy better. J

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29 Things I Want To Do Before I’m 30

1)      Go home for a vacation and meet Zach Christian
2)      Finish reading the Purpose Driven Life
3)      Finish reading the Bible
4)      Finish reading the Quran
5)      Write at least five short stories
6)      Write at least five more songs
7)      Finish a novella
8)      Finish editing my 2010 memoir
9)      Send one of my writings to a contest or a publishing company of some sort
10)  Have 77 blog posts on SCRIBBLES
11)  Create a new blog
12)  Master writing my name HENCEL LAUREN in Arabic
13)  Go to at least three Kuwait tourist destinations
14)  Visit another gulf country
15)  Memorize one foreign song
16)  Learn a new language
17)  Get my visa and leave for the US
18)  Visit Tatay Asiong (Philippines) and Papa Lino’s (California) graves
19)  Learn how to swim
20)  Go wall climbing once
21)  Start “project” with Mom
22)  Have my hair grow five inches past the bra line
23)  Invent a recipe I will name after my Mom and siblings
24)  Have my tummy scar removed surgically
25)  Meet a famous person
26)  Buy a pair of high heels and be an expert on walking around with it
27)  Fix my posture
28)  Fall in love again but…
29)  Stay single J

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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

May - August 2013

I breathe to write, and I write to avoid having problems with my breathing.

When things are beyond our control, trust that God is. Let's calm our hearts by praying constantly, not only for our own safety, but for others as well.

Things you need to know in life:
          a)      WHO you are
          b)      WHY you’re here
          c)      WHAT you can do

The Lord is bigger than any of your problems. Trust His love always.

Don’t let other people determine your worth.

A single mistake can change your life forever, so make only the ones with consequences you can live with.

Hating may be easier than loving but it’s definitely harder on the conscience.

Sometimes, it's hard to take care of someone who is fully capable of taking care of himself.

Tolerance is not acceptance and it certainly isn’t love.

The moment you try too hard to sound smart, you start to look dumb.

Your real first love is your first real heartbreak.

The hardest person to forgive is yourself.

Love like you've never been cheated on.

It’s frustrating how maturity does not come with age.

The heart doesn’t forget what the brain refuses to remember.

When you're having a bad time, just think: It could be worse. Be grateful whatever your circumstances are. God's love is unceasing. Good things happen to those who are faithful to Him.

Death by drugs used to be tragic. Now, it's overrated. Not to add insult to injury but it's sad, almost depressing, to think that just when we thought we're one corpse smarter, another one bites the sheets. ‪

Choose respect over admiration.

Lying by omission is like hiding in plain sight.

Q: When can two “friends” cross the line between friendship and romance?
A: When they’re both sure their bond can survive a painful separation.

If you don’t care about the way you treat others, then you sure as hell shouldn’t care about how others treat you.

What can a 12-hour sleep give you?
*loads of crappy, over-the-top incredible, super-duper unrealistic dreams with unexpected guests
*hunger headache

In relationships, there's no such thing as a 5-year curse...
...only five years’ worth of blessings in the form of lessons learned.

For every action, there is an intention.

Kung gusto mo ng tahimik na buhay, huwag kang gumawa ng ingay.

TIME… it passes. Slowly or quickly... it depends on how you spend it.

The best way to teach someone how to love you is to love him the way you’d want to be loved.

You can never really judge a person based on where he came from. Diamonds are found among rocks.

Happiness is neither a destination nor an end result; it is a way of life.

Be stronger than your weaknesses.

Single People: You can't find the right person the wrong way.

Oftentimes, it's not what you say but how you say it.

'Pag feeling lonely ka, 'wag tao ang hanapin mo. Sila pwedeng mawala pero si Lord, 'di ka iiwan mag-isa.

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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Hency’s 5 Simple Tips To Surviving a Painful Betrayal

We’ve all been hurt once, twice, or too many times in our lives. I, for one, had to survive painful betrayals from people I REALLY trusted; I’m still reeling from the shock of a couple more. Recovering from the hurt that’s been caused and accepting the situation for what it is, forgiving the person who proved to be untrustworthy to forgiving yourself for being too trusting, and restoring the friendship/relationship to its earlier harmonious state to making a decision to break all bonds and move on can be a herculean task for an emotionally fragile human being. Practice makes perfect (care to have your heart broken, over and over again?) but is there really anything that can save us from any sort of backstabbing? I cannot teach anyone how to accurately spot a descendant of Judas to avoid future heartaches; I, myself, suck at that. Every betrayal WILL make us suffer to a certain degree, but maybe we can devise a plan so we can control our emotions and spare ourselves from undue, lasting cardiac and cerebral damage.  Here are some of the ways that I’ve chosen to not look so pathetic when the inevitable happens. THIS, you can practice.

1.      Pray hard. If you don’t feel better after, pray harder.

There ain’t no better way to say this, my friend. One of the things that we’re most lucky about, being alive here and all, is that even in a world full of double-crossers, we have a God that will NEVER EVER hurt us in the many ways our fellow humans can. He is your Bestfriend, your ever loyal Confidant, and dependable Chummie. He will never leave you, forsake you, or betray you. Talk to Him. Take advantage of the fact that He is always ready to listen, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. You can trust Him. He will not fail you. That ought to make you feel good enough before you even reach step 2.  

2.      Give yourself time to be sad and angry BUT be done with it pronto!

Well, you can’t fake grace with a face. Acknowledging that you feel bad about a situation will make you uncomfortable enough to want to pull yourself out of it. If you’re mad, get mad but be done with it quickly. Use your negative feelings in a positive way. It’s an acquired skill, I’m telling you. For starters, it just means that you need to use that fire to give your butt a tiny sting, get your adrenaline rushing, and make you face the bad stuff head-on- not blaze your whole ass. Don’t sit on it!

3.      Forgive and forgo to hasten the healing process.

We’ve all heard the cliché “Forgive and Forget”. I have come up with an inner mantra. The phrase “Forgive and FORGO” is more doable because who the hell forgets what they had to forgive? To forgo is to leave behind and do without something/someone who does not fit into your life anymore. Do not wait for a two-worded, half-meant apology. Just let it go to unburden yourself of all things bad. Oftentimes, the person hardest to forgive is not the supposed object of our hate for betraying our trust, but our very own selves. Forgive yourself. Stop taking responsibility for others’ mistakes. Accept that not everything is about you, that you can’t prevent yourself from being lied to (unless you live in utter solitude), and that secrets and misdeeds are better exposed, not sooner or later, but like everything… in God’s perfect time. Don’t hurt yourself any more than the person who hurt you already has. Forgiveness is not grace extended to another; it is a gift you give to YOU.

4.      Remember that you make mistakes too.

We don’t like shady people who lie, do we now? Let’s turn the tables. What if it’s you whose integrity is put into question? Got a spotless track record? Well, I’ve got news for you. You are absolutely capable of hurting the same person who hurt you in the same manner that he has hurt you (whew!). Chances are, you most likely have hurt someone the same way before, whether you were made fully aware of it or not. How did you handle being the bad guy? I think the best way to understand why some people risk others’ trust is to look within us and see what motivates us into doing all kinds of deeds. What is important to you and how do you protect it? I’ve been in the company of those who spin webs of lies just to cover up their insecurities. I’ve also been around people who keep secrets from close friends and family members to spare them from the potential stress a specific kind of information might cause. The next time someone betrays your trust (reality bites, someone will), remember the times when you were forced to make difficult choices. Be honest. Look at yourself. Don’t be self-righteous and stop rationalizing your actions. Don’t listen to twisted “friends” who give you interpretations that are only in your favor. After all, the people who often betray us are the ones close to us. It’s what makes the whole experience more painful, yes, but it’s all the more reason for us to try to be more… humane- but not stupid. Nobody, as you’ve heard, is perfect. 

5.      Learn to trust again.

After a painful betrayal, learning to trust again may be easier said than done, but it’s actually harder not to. Trust is a huge part of any human bond and without it, the relationship/friendship will not reach its fullest potential. As risky as it is to open your heart again after it’s been hurt, you can’t fully enjoy life if you always put your guard way up,up,up.  Don’t let a few people ruin your positive regard for the human race. Believe in yourself. Trust that you are capable of making better decisions and choices so that you may find it in yourself to trust again. Most of all, be the person you want others to be. If you are trustworthy, then it will be easier to believe that others can be as well.

As far as shielding ourselves from lies and betrayal, we can only do so much. In the end, we’re left only with wounds that will be scars and only three options: a) go backwards, b) be stuck, and c) move forward. The people who’ve hurt me can choose to move on from their mistakes and lead better lives- or not. As for me, I’ve made the decision to let go of the pain that they’ve caused and forgive myself for my own misdeeds, so I can let my life continue on track.

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Remember to Forget

I can’t remember a time
Before this that we ain’t fine
You had me wrapped around your fingers
Your smile was my comfort

Then all of a sudden
I didn’t see this coming
Your sugar-coated insincerity
Is what my sweet tooth got me

Questions asked; cusses spewed
Stupid answers; lies construed
Can hardly keep up with the crap
Gotta nurse a knife at my back

Were you ever real to me?
Care to give a two-worded apology?
Can’t fake grace with a face
Let time tell if forgiveness can erase

I must remember to forget
All the things that you did

I would have loved you in spite of WHO you REALLY are

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Hency’s 5 Simple Tips to Enjoying the Single Life

A blog post like this is one that I can write with a confidence level of 100%.

In my 28 years of existence, the time I’ve spent being in relationships is proportional to Lindsay Lohan’s length of sobriety in years put together minus her time in rehab, so you guys can trust that I know what I’m talking about. To those who can’t follow, yes, I’ve been spending a huge chunk of my earth time being single and I’m good at it. I’m effin’ good at it. It’s probably the second thing that I do best next to gobbling rice meals. I’m not kidding.

For me, being single is like walking in the clouds- easy, breezy, and drama-free. There are some days though (“some” meaning a little over five times in a year, like when I watch a Meg Ryan movie), when I wish someone’s gravity will pull me down to where he’s at. Of course I’ve been in love. I’ve experienced the kind of high that comes with it, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to feel that again, but life is short. I’d rather spend my days writing than formulating love potions. When it comes to finding the “better” kind of love, the one that actually lasts, leave it to the Author of love itself… God.

So what can we do while God is tugging Mr./Ms. Forever in a blindfold? I only have five for you, baby. See what works for yah.


1)      Free yourself from negativity.

Now THIS is hard. With all that’s happening in our single lives, we can’t be all smiles, can we? There’s work, family/friend(s) issues, financial problems, and sometimes you can feel so alone, you wish you had a boy/girlfriend. Being in a relationship can make you forget about your problems, sure. But, if you’re in an unhealthy one, you’ll forget them because all you’ll be sad about is the relationship itself. Remember that being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness so you have to learn how to be happy on your own. If you’re not happy being single, what makes you think you’ll be happy being in a relationship? You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t dump it on somebody else.  If you want to have positive relationships, then you’ve got to try to be a little more optimistic in spite of your circumstances. Try to see the best in people and yourself. Know how to make something good out of a bad situation so you’ll have no regrets. Always find a reason to smile even when you feel like things couldn’t get any worse… so that it won’t.

2)      Find something you love to do, NOT someone to love.

Have you ever stared at a clock while waiting for something or someone? One minute seemed like forever, right? But try doing something you actually like to kill the time and before you know it, whatever you’ve been waiting for is in front of you. I’m not sure for some but waiting is my least favorite activity, and understandably so, man-hunting. One big mistake that SOME single people make (other than wait and waste their lives away in the process) is doing all sorts of things just to have a partner. Some would go as far as resorting to socially and morally unacceptable means and that’s a rather repulsive thought. What guy/girl is worth that? And, do you think you’ll find the right person the wrong way? Use your free time productively. What is your passion? What activities do you not only enjoy but feel are contributing to your growth as an individual? If you do something you really love doing, you’re not only NOT wasting time, you will learn how to keep yourself preoccupied and be independently happy. Before you know it, love is knocking at your door and you’ll be opening it with a smile. To encourage you more to adapt this way of life, think about this: the chances of a health-conscious woman, who goes to the gym regularly, ending up with a physically fit man is not the same as that of a woman who frequents bars. She’ll have better luck hooking up with a never-sober alcoholic. I’m sticking to writing.  

3)      Establish a strong sense of who you are.

If someone will ask you bluntly who you are, it’s not gonna be about what you’ll say but HOW you’ll answer. How certain are you at this point in your life that you can answer that question with confidence and conviction? Being single, you’re at an advantage because you can get to know yourself without mistakenly identifying the “real” YOU with another. Oftentimes and for a lot of reasons, we tend to lose a bit of our individuality when we’re with someone because being in a relationship entails some necessary personality modifications from us to make it work. It’s called compromise. Sometimes, in an effort to please our partners, we overcompensate and when the unfortunate separation happens, we tend to feel out of ourselves- like it hasn’t been the case for quite a while. Take every opportunity to get to know yourself more: your desires, your beliefs, what irks you, the things you are willing to give up when necessary, and the things you will always hold on to no matter what. Build in yourself the kind of inner strength that can fight self-doubt and confusion in making important choices, and can answer the question “Who are you and what do you REALLY want?” with absolute certainty at any given time or situation. Yes, a relationship requires you to be whole. But you know what else does? YOUR LIFE.

4)      Open your heart to endless possibilities- including single-blessedness.

Relax. Calm down. Take deep breaths. Don’t panic… and don’t roll your eyes on me like you’re having a seizure. So what if you end up single? I don’t know about all y’all and them guys out there but I’d rather be chillin’ about this aspect of my life now than rush into some romance and be divorced a decade later just because my ovarian eggs have an expiration date. I’ve talked to quite a number of not-so-old-maids and they told me that their biggest regret is not getting married when they had the chance. I’ve talked to married women (twice the number of the unmarried ones) on the verge of mad and crazy and they told me to enjoy my life while I can before the “inevitable” happens, like married life is the only kind of life before death. Well, to each his own. Their lives are far from miserable; there’s Africa for that. But they can’t say they’re completely happy either. News flash! Life’s not perfect. You don’t always get what you want. Sometimes, when you do get what you want, you realize that you wanted the wrong things. If you accept right now that your life can go into millions of different directions, or even go to where you never thought it would, you’ll get over any setback in no time. Soften that rigid attitude. However your life turns out, you’ll be just fine. If I married a guy I was with some years ago in the state of being I was in (some years ago), maybe I won’t be half the person I am today. No effin’ way!   

5)      Trust God.

Like everything, this all goes down to a question of faith. Do you trust God, or do you have this delusion that it’s ALL up to YOU? For a long time, I’ve debated in my head two concepts known to man- Divine Predestination and human willpower- and how much in terms of percentage they play in our lives, which is really ridiculous considering that God is GOD and I am just mini-me. You can try to contemplate on that and I’m betting the moon and a couple of stars that you’re gonna have difficulties figuring it out. I’m betting another nameless galaxy that you never will. When it comes to matters of fate and faith, nobody is as vulnerable as a single person desperate to be in someone’s company. Is it really your fault that you’re single, that you didn’t make the choices that could’ve led to a relationship? Or is it just not the time yet? When will the right time ever be? Here’s the one and only fix: Leave it to God. Believe that He’s planned a happy life for you-single, semi-single, or not and listen closely for His instructions. If you follow His lead, your life will be far better than any reality you have imagined and dreamed for yourself.


I wish all you fellow single people the best, today and always. =)

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Friday, July 12, 2013

A Writer’s Curse

How do I desist this curse of a lifetime?

My mind’s an abyss where lies and truth rhyme.

At times, sanity seems drained from my feet;

I never run out of hope that there’s still a bit underneath.

I am helpless without a shadow of doubt.

With my pen and paper, I’m screaming out loud.

I bleed as I write every word I can’t speak.

If I don’t, every shred of hate I am doomed to keep.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

March - April 2013

You can't let negativity bring you down especially when you can't count on anyone else to help you back up.

Whenever I'm super bored, I scroll through my newsfeed and the only thing more shocking than a senatorial candidate's capacity to piss a whole registry of "room nurses" under a minute is who's dating whom.

If you put more energy into thinking about doing something rather than actually doing it, you won’t get it done.

A rose so blue, I bend, waiting for the desert’s rain. Oh…
Love that ruins, love that builds, break me again.
If despair finds me on my knees before you do, oh…
Keeper of my peace, tell me I have not loved for two.

Beauty beyond words;
Imperfect but real.
Naïve? Make no mistake!
Kind-hearted, with an impregnable spirit...
Yearning for no less than what she deserves.

In a world full of suffering, happiness can only be found from within. Let peace be in our hearts always.

Ice cream, in all forms and flavors, is always seductive to the palate.

It is foolish to ask other people to change for you. The best thing to do is to take a step back and let them decide if they want to change for themselves.

Be loyal to your heart.

When you wake up in the morning, don't think about the difficulties that you might encounter. Prepare to be blessed beyond every stretch of the imagination, every day. God is GREAT.

The thing about watching a TV series which ended more than a couple of years ago is that you are re-acquainted with the old cellphone models. Maybe if I watch a New Girl rerun after two years, I'll throw up when I see an iPhone 4s. #michaelscofieldmotorola

The only way to make a dream worth all that you've sacrificed is to follow, then achieve it.

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Friday, February 22, 2013

January - February 2013

-My first wall post for the year 2013: THANK YOU GOD!
-For every first, there is a last; for every beginning, an ending. Everything that was started will be finished. You'll need God throughout- for every last when you want more, for every ending that was a disappointment, and for whatever it is that you can't seem to finish. Don't worry. He'll be there like He's always been for every first, every beginning. That feeling of HOPE you have whenever you start something is actually God telling you that in Him, with Him, and through Him, it can be done.
-We are responsible for how we choose to love. To love righteously, we must remember everything that we've been through, good and bad, and think about how God planned it all so we can be who we are today. Pray. Reflect. Learn how to love righteously ONLY from The Best.
-Each of us has this little dream in our heart that when achieved, can give us a sense of fulfillment and happiness that our bigger dreams can't.
-How you'll fare with CHANGE depends largely on how you look at it.
-Real friends are really, really, really hard to come by. God may not hand new ones to me in perfect little paper bags on an annual basis, but it sure is worth waiting for one -with a strong personality- once every three or so years when I want to give my guts a rest.
-If you live life vicariously through other people, yours will wither away.
-Your life is God's gift to you. HOW you live it is your "gift" to Him.
-Sometimes, when simple things are explained, they get complicated.
-In a world filled with shady people, BE STILL.
 a) It's not about you
 b) What they sow, they will reap.
-If you can give it up, it could be that it's not that important. Let it go, completely, in pursuit of the more important things in life.
-A person who can betray oneself can easily betray others.
-A lot of people live long lives playing safe only to realize that they've died a little bit everyday doing nothing.
-The truth exposes itself without human effort.
-We’re all ordinary and special at the same time. Ordinary, ‘coz we’re people; Special, ‘coz we’re loved by God.
-Don't settle for what's in front of you. Items on sale are usually at the back.
-When you have to do something that is morally right according to your standards BUT is socially wrong, do it. Trust that God can understand what people can't.
-You have to give 200% effort when you really want something so that if you don't get it, you're still 100% happy.
-You can only be as good as you believe you can be. You were created by A Great God. Be no less than that.
-Nobody has it easy.
-Pray more. Love more. Live more.
-Practice with patience.
-Don't bank on memories no matter how happy and plenty they are. People, feelings, and circumstances change.
-As a mature person, you should be able to follow your OWN rules.
-You know that God has lost His central place in your heart NOT when you couldn't remember the last time you prayed. It's when you could've BUT didn't.
-Choose your battles wisely.
-Sometimes, we are obsessed about finishing things we haven’t even started yet.
-True, lasting love is worth the long wait.
-Your heart is reflected in your writings whatever they're about.
-We can’t go anywhere near God if we do things that keep us away from Him.
-If you let all the bad stuff bother you over and over again, you'll never be in a good mood.
-Love is that which brings out the best in people. If it doesn't, then it's something else.
-Smart people know the words "frankness" and "tact" by definition. Wise people know HOW to be frank and tactful at the same time.
-A person who is in constant need for company often ends up with the wrong crowd.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Everybody Lies

I miss watching House M.D. I remember the misanthropic lead Hugh Laurie saying this in an episode and thought that it could’ve made a less catchy series title. If it isn’t a fallacy of composition (assuming that something true of part of a whole must also be true of the whole), then it simply is a hasty generalization (an informal fallacy; X is true for A, B, C and D therefore, X is true for the rest of the alphabet), yet the two words put together expresses a kind of certainty that is absolute... unquestionable. I started telling myself that this can’t be for real, I mean, it’s a fallacy in itself on all points of logic. There must be a person, one person, out there who doesn’t lie AT ALL. But then, I'm reminded of the fibs that I’ve said and changed my mind. Everybody lies. If I’m not honest all the time, then nobody is. If they’re gonna make a billboard of the most honest person in the world, I’d want my face up there! That’s the truth. But here is a truth that trumps that: it CAN'T be. I might as well be up there in the collage, five billion faces away from the members of the Philippine Senate and Lance Armstrong. You can’t make decent blog posts from lies, hello?!


They say that you should strike while the iron is hot when writing and somehow, the thought of liars and the lies they tell got me all fired up. Lying’s been abused mainly for purposes of self- preservation; it has become an art form in itself. That, ladies and gentlemen, is repulsive on so many levels. Frankly, I haven’t the slightest idea to a strategy on how to erase that in my own backyard. Do you? I guess I just take it one situation at a time, know when I had to (you know), and stop before it gets anywhere near fun. That’s kinda the time when things can (and they will) start spiraling downwards and your life suddenly becomes a work of fiction.


I know a lie when it’s said to my face just like I know what a lie is gonna cost me before it comes out of my mouth. It doesn’t make me an expert on lies or people, just an expert on myself and how far I’d allow myself to go in terms of “that”. God knows I can’t go anywhere near Him if I do things that keep me away from Him, so I guess the best that you and I can do is to make a decision not to release fibs from its source. In a world where credibility is substantial to a peaceful existence, we can’t establish it with lies. Just sayin’, but for the record…


…I, Hencel Lauren, believe with all my heart that the phrase/sentence “Everybody lies” is still a fallacy no matter how true it may seem. I’m sure that there is someone out there who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about a squeaky-clean (fake) reputation, who's not afraid to lose anything if it might cost him a clear conscience, and gets an intense amount of satisfaction from being free from the manacles of the littlest of untruths.


He is the man I will marry.
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Monday, January 28, 2013

Michelle Zink

I don’t remember exactly when and how I ended up in Michelle Zink’s (author of The Prophecy of the Sisters trilogy) Facebook page with several other strangers giving their opinions about the Salvation Army’s exclusion of homeless gay couples in their shelters, but I haven’t forgotten how I felt while reading the comments on her post. I’m not interested in giving any lectures about the acceptance of homosexuals, nor am I interested in being lectured about NOT accepting them. Discussions about homosexuality often end in debates. If we start today, we might not live long enough to reach a conclusion. Life is too short. I don’t want to spend it being an imposing, self-righteous heterosexual “sinner”, or a confused hypocrite. I just want to write.


On Michelle’s post, she said (as far as I can remember) that she will be donating her hard-earned dough to other charities that cater to people regardless of… After the first comment, the next ones came in rapid succession and I have to admit that it was very hard not to shake my head on some of them. “To each his own”, I kept reminding myself, and this applies to all aspects of our lives. If that’s the case, then a person’s religious beliefs are only as important as another person’s sexuality. Too bad, we live in a world where some people can understand a lot of things EXCEPT that. I read on and in one of the comments, this was her response and it stuck to me:


“If anything, I think we should applaud those who choose to be true to who they are even when it often makes them a target for discrimination and hate. If it's more important for someone to live life the way their God supposedly wants them to, more power to them. But I choose to believe that if there is a God, he/she celebrates our individuality and love in all its forms.” (Michelle Zink)


I just couldn’t pass the chance to comment on a free wall. This was what I wrote:

“I could not even begin to type how grateful I am to know that an author I admire and aspire to be like has the same feelings about an issue that is also important to me. The world is full of social and moral constructs. A lot of people say they want to make a difference but they refuse to start with themselves. Your conviction may be a huge part of who you are but God is far greater than anything else. He understands and accepts beyond what humans can. We should all get along regardless of, in the very least, sexual orientation because if the concept of hell is true, we'll all see each other there. Homosexuality may have been discussed in the Bible but self-righteousness and a lot of other "sins" are too, so if you put a cheating heterosexual vs. a faithful homosexual before the Lord, I doubt that the God I know will choose according to humanity's religious standards. I doubt that He will choose at all. I believe that He is more compassionate than any book can describe, and that the way to honor Him is to honor each other.”


The way I constructed my comment had a lot to do with how the flow of the wall post discussion went, and how Michelle’s words affected me. For a long time, I had rules above my head, more likely created by men than by God. I had been blessed to be without the "moral and social burden" (reality bites) that is homosexuality, but what if I were gay and there are no people like her, with a voice that has the capacity to influence the next generation of Ellens (DeGeneres) and Rickys (Martin) to be true to themselves? Will I even consider pursuing writing with the fear that my writings will be snubbed by a close-minded society just because of my sexual preference and liberal way of thinking?


I hope to be a writer like Michelle is: courageous, compassionate, and liberated in the right sense.  I pray that someday we can all make peace with the reality of the times we’re in, motivate each other to be our best selves (homo or hetero), and encourage one another to accept others as we’d like to be accepted before IKEA runs out of closets. The Salvation Army is a Christian international movement and WE GET THAT, but let me ask you this one question:


If JESUS -for all that we know he was- was approached by a homeless gay couple in dire need of a place to stay for the night, will he ask them to break-up before he takes them in?


P.S. I read this story in one of Yahoo’s search results. Of course, the couple opted to sleep in the streets. They can make a "NO SEX HERE" rule for homosexual couples so that they can still help them without compromising what they stand for. That's way more "Christian" in my opinion.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Chain for Fools


I love to read. There are plenty of reading materials out there that will not only inform you or make you rethink your take on some things, but they can also change your life. And then, there are some that are not only considered a waste of time and effort. If you’re not so intelligent, you’ll lose a considerable amount of money as well. I’m talking about chain letters, messages, and texts. I found reading them beyond annoying, so I don’t waste a glance on them anymore.


I’m irritated in part because of what’s in it.  The letters and messages are not about anything at all. When you read one, half of it is about the actual letter itself and the other half is just filled with threats. If that’s the case, what’s in it for you then? Maybe luck. Maybe nothing. But one thing’s for sure: you’re a decision away from being a fool. You see, part of the reason I’m irritated with these letters’ existence is because I fell for it a few times before. Yes, I felt fear that compelled me to send out those letters and texts, and I only felt dumb after. I was not blessed.


The only good thing I got from those experiences was the chance to confront my fear of losing things that I value be it my life, my loved ones, or stuff that I own. But I forgot something, Someone, that is more important than anyone and everything… God. I realized that my faith died with every letter I sent. I failed to trust Him by giving in to my fear of losing people and things that are less important than Him. I forgot that no matter how many texts I send, He’s still The Boss and no stupid chain letter or SMS can defy His will. I’m smarter now. I know better than to insult His power by falling for those pieces of crap when there’s nothing in them anyway. Those letters and messages don’t have any words of wisdom, or messages of love that can give a sense of comfort. They just instigate fear.


I made this post with the intention of erasing all residual faith we still have on these scams. We must pass on only things and words that enlighten, not letters and messages that make fools out of us. Feel free to share this to whomever, whenever, however you want. If you don’t, nothing bad will happen to you. If you do, you can save a fool from wasting his precious time, effort, and money that he can’t take back. We ought to be smarter and stronger in our faith in God, don’t we?
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Monday, January 7, 2013



 "Everybody’s equal: color, creed, or circumstance. We’re all the same on this planet."
Dr. Bertram Pincus

 "Your story is not boring or ordinary. We get to live just one life. You can’t live someone else’s or think it’s more important just because it’s more dramatic. What happens matters, maybe only to us, but it matters."

From the movie GHOST TOWN written by David Koepp and John Kamps
(Source: Wikipedia)

I remember rummaging through my borrowed DVD’s a year ago and saw this one in the “can’t watch” pile. Not watching horror movies is one of the many ways I have chosen to stay sane. But I thought, “How can Ricky Gervais do a horror flick with Téa Leoni and Greg Kinnear?” So I watched the trailer on YouTube and said, “Nah. It’s rom-com. Totally my thing.” And it was.
It’s about a dentist, and being a dental nurse at a dental clinic that time, I became curious as to how a movie-worthy story can be told using someone in the dental industry as a main character. I was way too bored where I was then. The plot is simple, but in-cre-di-ble. Well, the universe is a humongous place and the existence of non-people with “unfinished” businesses is an accepted fact for a percentage of our planet's population. I used to think that once you’re dead, you’re literally finished. If God requires your existence in the greater scheme of things, you won’t be six feet under. But, He created writers too. Then, I realized that I wanted to be one. And, if you want to be a writer, you have to be capable of believing that anything IS possible... so there. Then, Ricky and Téa delivered those lines and I’m like, "They said it alright!"
Have you ever been in a church group gathering listening to people’s testimonials? Boy, I have! After every sharing, I’d say to myself, “My life is freakin’ boring. I have nothing but petty, internal struggles.” That was almost two years ago when I didn’t have a story to trump a hopeless romantic teenager's three-year battle with pubertal acne. It’s not that I feel so important now because finally, I have a more interesting story to share other than my break-ups. You see, everyone has their own shit to deal with every day.  I just feel grateful I went through something that helped me become more understanding of others. It’s easier for me now to look past a person’s imperfections and consider whatever hell he’s been through. I just hope others can do that for me, too. I mean, what you read is what you get but wait! There’s more… ish.
It amazes me that no matter how different we are and the circumstances we’re in from each other, we’re all still the same. It's because we were extended the same grace by the same God... TO LIVE. Whether you are a person who desperately wants to take a break from all the drama or someone who still feels the need to convince other people that your life is as eventful as you fantasize it to be, IT’S YOUR LIFE. How you choose to live it is your business. Just be ready on how others will respond to yah when you make THEIR lives your business.
The upside and/or downside of every human experience is the person you become. I want ME to be the upside of every painful experience. I don’t want to be like the others who’ve been through hell but always end up there. I want to walk around with my head up high, my story told with the way I relate with others, with how I write, with how I love. God had planned a wonderful life for each one of us. We just have to live it… and then we can choose how to tell it.

Watch the trailer: Ghost Town Movie Trailer (2008)                                  


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