Wednesday, September 18, 2013

My Lebanese-Armenian-American Sister From Another Mother

(for) September 19, 2013

Dear Selah,

This blog post is not what you think it is.

This “private message” is not about how much I like you, or how I so miss working with you, and how good it is that we’re friends… coz’ it’s not like that.

First of all, I’d like to tell you how inconvenient it is to have a pretty friend. My eyes dry up from all the staring and not blinking. I’m not even gay.

Second of all, and from this point on I’ll stop counting, you always call me out for my "maarte-ness" in a "makulit" way. That’s wayyy more Filipino than I can get, eating rice with my hands.

You make me want to put eye make-up. I hate make-up.

My “behind” appears smaller than it actually is when you’re anywhere within 100 meters.

You NEVER fart around me. I find that highly offensive.

You bring me to Sakura and make me wish I had a husband. O.M.g…

And lastly, you’re too honest… about my cooking. Upside, I can be honest with yours.
(FYI: The stuff we cook is too awesome for humans. They’re for another species.)

So there.
That’s all there is.

And yeah, feel free to share my birthday. It was all mine for 7 years before you waltzed into the planet with your tiny feet. They’re still tiny, btw.

The Birthday Blogger

PS.  I don’t like you. I love you.
       I don’t miss working with you coz’ I don’t miss working… just you.

       Friend, you’re good. Best friend, wayyyyy better. J

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29 Things I Want To Do Before I’m 30

1)      Go home for a vacation and meet Zach Christian
2)      Finish reading the Purpose Driven Life
3)      Finish reading the Bible
4)      Finish reading the Quran
5)      Write at least five short stories
6)      Write at least five more songs
7)      Finish a novella
8)      Finish editing my 2010 memoir
9)      Send one of my writings to a contest or a publishing company of some sort
10)  Have 77 blog posts on SCRIBBLES
11)  Create a new blog
12)  Master writing my name HENCEL LAUREN in Arabic
13)  Go to at least three Kuwait tourist destinations
14)  Visit another gulf country
15)  Memorize one foreign song
16)  Learn a new language
17)  Get my visa and leave for the US
18)  Visit Tatay Asiong (Philippines) and Papa Lino’s (California) graves
19)  Learn how to swim
20)  Go wall climbing once
21)  Start “project” with Mom
22)  Have my hair grow five inches past the bra line
23)  Invent a recipe I will name after my Mom and siblings
24)  Have my tummy scar removed surgically
25)  Meet a famous person
26)  Buy a pair of high heels and be an expert on walking around with it
27)  Fix my posture
28)  Fall in love again but…
29)  Stay single J

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